Spring Break '09: Failure to Fly

I thought that the vacation from hell was over when we’d made it to the airport but the Cougster had other plans for me.

Everything went pretty smoothly after we got the Cougar’s 2 HUGE suitcases (for 5 days) into the baggage check…until we got to Atlanta. Our connection to Chicago was delayed, which is not a biggie. Well, it’s not really a biggie if you’re NOT traveling with your man-child husband and his Chardonnay fiend Mom. If you ever find yourself in this situation, just run. I should have done that, but I’m an idiot.

J and I dropped the Cougster off at the in-airport bar and grabbed a Cinnabon and headed back to keep an eye on my MIL. After someone in your group gets roofied, you make sure to keep a close eye on the wild ones. Everyone in the bar was getting pretty pissed off and pissed up because we had been stranded for like 4 or 5 hours with no explanation. Over at the gate people were getting pissed since things weren’t looking good so we let the Cougster investigate the situation there. Bad idea. Horrible. And I wasn’t even drinking.

When she finally came back she told us all about how she gave the gate attendant a piece of her 6 glass mind. The people in the bar thought she was pretty entertaining, just like the gate people who, according to the Cougar, erupted into applause after her bitch fit. Of course. We found out from a random gate person that some “crazy lady” was harassing the gate attendants and was threatened to be kicked off the plane. Wanna take a guess as to who that “crazy lady” was?

Jordan was getting cheesed off about the delay and then about his mom being the “crazy lady” so she got a stern talkin’ to. Apparently it wasn’t stern enough because Crazy Cougar went back for Round II with the gate attendant when we took a smoke break. On our way back to the bar we watched her get carted off by two security guards since SHE WAS GETTING KICKED OFF THE PLANE! Jordan tried to reason with them and explain that we had traveled together and only had one car waiting in Chicago, the Cougs. I guess when the pilot himself kicks you off, you’ve lost your right to bargain. So they escorted her out of the terminals out into the area where you buy tickets and check in since she was no longer a customer. We tried to get her on another flight (because hell if I was giving up my seat) but she kept yelling to the ticket salespeople about how that pilot was an ass and she shouldn’t have been kicked off in the first place. That didn’t help things. She kept slurring that her husband (at the time) would come pick her up…in Atlanta. J had finally had enough trying to reason with and help her so we ditched. I mean come on, I wasn’t going to sit through another night of this shit.

We finally got to board the plane and of course we were the very first row and there was an empty seat next to J and I in one otherwise full plane. At least the guy who dubbed the Cougar “crazy lady” apologized to us but after our day we were calling her the “crazy lady” too. No apology necessary.