Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Man-Children call after No Call 9

We (well mostly, I) have a no phone calls after 9 PM rule. That’s how I was raised and I think it’s rude to call when most couples/families are tucking in for the night…or rustling the sheets. Either way, I don’t want to be interrupted.

My BIL, Brad is a twat and thinks he is exempt from this rule. He thinks that calling J’s cell phone, no matter what time, is totally appropriate. My thought is that it still rings, it’s still breaking “No Call 9” and it’s usually charging right in our bedroom…and that I want to throat punch him.

My Brad and I have a unique relationship. I hate him and he tries to act like he doesn’t hate me and wants to hug and crap to look good in front of Jordan when he knows it will make me want to spoon his eyes out.

Anyway, Brad is a terrible influence on the Hubster. There’s a reason I call it “Brad Behavior” instead of bad behavior. Brad loves to drink…a lot and Brad likes to make sure other people drink too, whether they want to or not. Brad also loves to think he’s in charge, which also makes Jordan act like he’s in charge. Jordan is not in charge. We don’t have the time or Blogger capacity to discuss all of the reasons why I hate Brad, but I’m sure you get the point.

Last night Brad decided to call us at 11:48 PM. That’s after 9, in case you were wondering.

The Hubster’s younger brother (Brother #3) is currently in the hospital getting a bone marrow transplant and he’ll do well but then something will go wrong. When someone is calling at 11:48 (since it’s past 9) I think something bad has happened with B3. That’s not a good feeling. Thankfully B3 is just fine. Turns out Brad was calling to find out why his Mommy is mad at him. I can’t even make this shit up.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Brad is 25 and married? He is.

Since Jordan is so close to his brother, Brad and his wife were the first ones to know that I was pregnant. Brad is the oldest and apparently that means that he and his wife should get to be the first to do things. Get married, buy a house, have a baby. Boy, did it burn their assholes that they were not going to be having the first grandchild/great grandchild. Brad and his wife still piss and moan to family members about how they should have been the first ones and no one will be excited for their baby. What a loving, supportive brother, huh? I figure, if you still think like that, you’re probably not ready for a baby but whatever.

So, Brad’s Mommy is mad at him because he’s been douching the family a lot lately and lying about it since his wife doesn’t like us. I may have let it slip to my MIL that Brad and his wife are no longer on birth control even though (according to them both) they still don’t know if they want to have a baby. No one thinks this is a good idea. Obvs. Even Brad’s grandmother who basically raised him told me that they shouldn’t have a baby and then threw in that Brad’s wife has “fat ovaries” anyway. This was only a few months ago when she told us that Fat Ovaries was really “packin’ em on”. Love his grandma.

I hope you don’t have family members like this, let alone brothers or sisters but if you do, we can talk some mad shit about them together. That always makes me feel better.


Nell said...

I know how is to be with someone with evil siblings... and you really can't do anything... it sucks!

D. said...

So sad but I can actually relate to you..and it sucks because it's blood and you're related to them so it's not like you can just cut them out of your life.

Sara Lyn @musings of a mommy said...

I seriously laugh every time I read your blog. :)

Raquel said...

@Nell- I'm an only child...a stupid one that married a man with 4 siblings.

@D- I'm not related to those freaks. Thankfully I can use the baby as an excuse so I don't have to see Brad and Fat Ovaries since they are not a baby friendly couple.

@Sara- Most of the time I hate hose bastards but give me great material.

Brandi said...

Holy cow, fat ovaries... oh, my sides hurt!

As a small consolation, my husband's family sucks too.

Raquel said...

@Brandi- I can't even take credit for that one. I didn't know Grandma's even had the ability to think that way let alone say it out loud.

Megan said...

If it makes you feel any better, my husband's cousin is pregnant and she still lives with her mom and her mom lives in the basement of her mom's house! Yep, cousin lives with mom lives with grandma. They're classy people.

Deals, Steals and Heels said...

my mother-in-law hates me. like, had to be bribed to come to our wedding hates me...and THEN had the audacity to tell me, IN MY WEDDING DRESS, ON MY WEDDING DAY, that she was glad to be in the waiting area "where it was warm" because it was so cold out ( we got married in an atrium). yeah...sorry lady, you can SUCK IT UP in your black pants and leather jacket. ON MY WEDDING DAY.

and my brother-in-law manages a hot topic. you know, the store for creepy goth kids? AND he has a transformers tattoo. he's 25.

so, basically we need to be BFFs and bitch about our families.

Raquel said...

@Megan- That's like the girl from 16 & Pregnant (S1) Whitney. Is his cousin's name Whitney?

@Deals- We are BFFs. I would jack your MIL in the face. I totally know what store you're talking about!

KimR said...

After I had my son, my sister and I got so much closer (if it was possible-we were already BFFs) because we had something else bomding. Well, about 6 mos later my other sister turned up pregnant. We think she did it on purpose so she wouldn't be left out.
Here's some icing on the cake: then she lived with my parents for a yr and a half. Too bad she's 27, she would fit right in on Teen Mom.

Raquel said...

@Kim- I'm with you and your nice sister, she def. did it on purpose. Loser.

Ravyn said...

OH MY GOODNESS! Best thing I've seen all day!!! My husbands family is a piece of work too so I can totally relate. I'm so glad I bookmarked your blog!!


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