Gifts for Baby

I am having three baby showers. THREE! Well I had two but still, that many baby showers is nuts. I guess it’s probably good news if you don’t mind being fawned over or whatever but for me it was torture. Opening gifts one at a time in complete silence in front of a whole mess of people? So uncomfy. It was even more awkward than our wedding where I acted like a total douche since I don’t know how to act when people are at a party for me.

My Mom asked me to help her with the invitation for her family’s baby shower since she can barely send out an email and they were the “Print at Home” kind. She told me not to include where I was registered since she thought it was rude and anyway, people would ask when they called to RSVP. They didn’t. I think out of the 25 people there, 3 people bought off the registry. My mom only bought off the registry since I was a whiny little shit and she was tired of hearing me talk about the Chicco Travel System, childhood friend Stube did because she has a baby and she knows what a pain it is to create one, let alone not get anything off it and my cousin because she loves me and Jordan more than anyone else in the entire world. For real, even more than our parents. Everyone else bought clothes and I was freaking the fudge out since I already had more than enough clothes. At least there was Round II.

Jordan’s Dad and Stepmom, M, know what an uptight, stressed out weirdo I can be and made sure to include the registries on the invitation. They’re the same ones who bought us the bassinet/pack ‘n play so I can’t make excuses about why they can’t watch the baby overnight. Love them, they just get me and we all have a really good time making fun of me. Anyway, all of Jordan’s Dad’s family bought off the registry except for his grandma. She got the baby a rooster wind chime. I’m not even shitting you, she got an infant a wind chime. Like, what the hell was she thinking? “Oh well here, this here is the gift I will get for my great-granddaughter, a wind chime so that she can be woken up after she finally drifts asleep!” Ridic.