Monday, July 26, 2010

Babies are Expensive.

They tell you that and you think “Psssht, duh, like over the course of 18 years”. I thought that and after last week and this weekend’s baby shit buying extravaganza, I understand what they mean.

I thought I was going to be saving all this money by cloth diapering, then I had to buy diaper pail liners. They’re $15-30 a pop. And I need two because one doesn’t really make sense. That’s a lot of jack just to hold shit. Luckily, the cheap bastard in me was able to figure that nylon laundry bags are essentially the same thing if you plan on dry pailin’ it. Take off the baby association and save! I got two for $9. Turns out babies are like weddings, it’s the label that kills you.

Oh, did you know that babies need special laundry detergent? They do, and it too is going to make you go broke. At first, I was using All Free and Clear since it’s essentially the same thing as Dreft but once I got on my “I’m going to cloth diaper” kick I read that you have to use even specialer laundry detergent and it costs significantly more and I can only buy it online so I have to take it in the ass on shipping too. Damnit.

My cat hoarding cost me $27 dollars. I had to buy a crib tent to keep their too friendly asses out of my pricey crib and off of the bedding set that cost as much as a car payment. And I even bought the damn tent off of Craigslist to save money.

I also got sucked into that baby timer, Itzbeen since I forget shit as it is and I can only imagine how I will function with a newborn. It’s an alarm that apparently goes off when it’s time to change your baby, feed your baby or tell you how long your little nugget has been down for the count. That set me back $20. Bastards.

It also turns out that cloth diapers can very easily turn into an obsession. I bought 6 smalls and 6 mediums for $100. Not bad for diapers that will be useful up to 28 lbs. That’s like 6 months or something if she’s born a giant. Other than the diapers themselves, I’m buying $40 worth of reusable cloth liners to use with the gDiapers. Let’s not forget the diaper pail for all those cloth diapers that set me back another $14 and I may or may not have invested around $20 to dye some of the diapers different colors. At least with all the effin’ shit that comes along with cloth (no pun intended, okay maybe it was, a little) I’m still saving in that department.

I haven’t even mentioned all the other crap I have stock piled. Like Earth’s Best diapers (the corn soaker uppers) or the Little Lamb Swing ($150) that I had to have because a lamb is a farm animal and we have a farm nursery. I even managed to avoid some of the things I think are useless crap traps set by the Baby Industry to try to save money, like wipe warmers and bouncer seats in addition to your swing. They tricked me though with no show socks, my FIL informs me that babies just kick them off. Great.

And having a baby makes you spend money on crazy, crazy shit you would laugh at if you weren’t growing a human being. Like baby leggings and outfits that babies probably get very irritated by and shoes that they can wear for a few seconds before you have to take them off in fear of ruining their feet. Guilty as charged.

It’s really not that bad though, when you have a baby (especially the first one) people love to buy you shit. And you’re golden if you’re carrying the first grandchild and/or the first great grandchild. Or even the first baby in a while. Either way, women especially are just waiting for someone they know to get knocked up so they can stop perusing through the baby aisles at the department stores and go crazy because Carter’s is having a 20% off sale. At least, this has been my experience.

So don't let crib tents or fancy schmancy detergent get you down. Just think of all the money you'll save when you can't go out to eat or to a movie because now you've got the added cost of a babysitter or you just don't want to leave your baby with someone who's probably not even qualified to watch any children, let alone yours. Guess which boat I'm in? Either way I am damn excited to be almost done gestating this kid, then I'll never piss and moan about being bored or that there's nothing on TV. I'm just super pumped to have a new friend.

So if any of you are on the fence about getting porked for more than just pleasure, do it. Or if you have successfully procreated, what expensive baby shit do you have?

22 comments:

Nani said...

i have a lot of crap. A LOT! From baby gear all the way down to clothes and shoes. My daughter is 1 and it keeps racking in. 18 years of this? shit, I am going to make my hubs go broke.

melissa said...

Eeek. I keep telling my husband that babies don't cost that much because they're small and they don't eat too much. Let's just keep this our little secret, okay?

Have you checked out Alice.com for the fancy schmancy detergent? They have free shipping on their products so maybe that could save you a little $$$?

Raquel said...

@Nani- It's ridonk. I had to put clothes in bins because we ran out of closet space.

@Melissa- I won't tell him. And Alice.com does have it, thank you for keeping me from getting a chapped asshole from shipping!

Alyssa said...

Hmmm, which expensive baby crap DON'T I have?! LOL, I'm a sucker. I do have to say the bouncer seat was a god send. It allowed me to shower and eat while he chilled out next to me.Good luck!

Amanda said...

It only gets worse. I just bought my 1 year old a Lebron James jersey since he moved to Miami. I'm a SUCKA!! But he looks soooo damn cute in it!

KimR said...

Well, you can forgo the expensive-ass detergent, especially for diaper liners. HELLO! You're going to wash them with the equivalent of $3 worth of over-priced detergent, just for them to get shit on, ON. PURPOSE.
BTW, changing tables are ridonk. After a couple of months, or a couple of weeks if you're lazy and hate stairs like me, you will keep a bag of diapers and box of wipes in the living room and change 'em right there on the floor.

Raquel said...

@Alyssa- Do you have a swing too? I figure I can just pop her in there when I need to poop or something.

@Amanda- The hubster was thisclose to buying a $31.00 official Packers onesie jersey. I'm sure he will buy it when I'm not around, since babies love football and don't just sit there with their tongue out a little bit staring at the ceiling.

@KimR- gDiapers have a warranty or some crap if you use detergent without phospahtes and other crud and I need them to last through another kid. It doesn't help that I have to use fancy detergent too or I get a rash. Can babies inherit shit like sensitive skin?

I was totally anti-changing table until the cloth diaper decision now I need some sort of ass wiping station for all the components of them. I'm Craigslisting one though.

Beeshy said...

I have a serious addiction to the baby discount sites. magabargains.com, babysteals.com, babyhalfoff.com, zulily.com... I rationalize them because I'm getting a "deal" but I end up buying all sorts of crazy stuff.

Have to second that I really like having a bouncer and a swing. The swing is big and kind of a pain to move around where the bouncer is more portable for like in the bathroom while showering and stuff. The swing is great too though. My little girl is a month old today and we also have the little lamp set. SO CUTE.

Steph said...

I have a serious cloth diaper addiction... thats basically the biggest thing I spend money on. Oh, and baby carriers.

I found this article today comparing all sorts of detergents to use with cloth diapers and rating them: http://www.pinstripesandpolkadots.com/detergentchoices.htm

So, maybe you can find something more affordable there and save some money to buy MORE diapers.

Raquel said...

@Beeshy- I'm totally guilty of that too.

@Steph- I saw that chart too! They don't have the kind I bought, I ended up using the Rockin' Green orangevana scent today and it smells like heaven. Like, so good that I will pay the $14.

Mama D said...

Ok seriously, maybe I'm the only one... but I've saved SO much money since having JBean. Like a couple thousand dollars. Why you ask? Well, we don't go anywhere and grandma and grampa are so excited to see JBean that we usually go there Saturday and Sunday and g-ma cooks din din. :)

As for the swing/bouncer seat -- I would totally take the bouncer over the swing. JBean has no interest whatsoever in her swing. She freaks the flip out. The bouncy seat allows me to do what I gots to do and just transport her and the seat w/ me.

Brandy said...

Just had my first baby shower I was banned from buying anything until after the showers.
About 99% of what I got was from my registries, including a fancy diaper bag that looks like a clutch that I would have never had bought myself. I got a ton of organic stuff onesies, organic mattress and bedding,swaddles, sleep sacks, things I registered for that I thought no one would buy because they were pricy!

Im keeping gear minimal. A friend loaned us a baby swing but our house is pretty small so we are not getting a lot of stuff. We are lucky though because we are pretty much the last of our friends to have a baby so they all want to loan us stuff and know what we will really need versus what we are told we need.

Most expensive thing we will probably be buying is probably the cloth diapers.

I will admit that I did register for a very expenisve bouncy seat, the mamaaroo from 4moms, which I actually removed from my registry the next day.

Betsy said...

Baby Q loves his swing AND bouncer seat! I didn't want a bouncer seat in the beginning either and then ended up buying one on Craigslist. ( I LOVE CRAIGSLIST)
About the changing table... I bought a dresser for his room and then I put a changing pad on top of that. That way i didn't buy any extra furniture and he will use the dresser forever!

JC said...

I have to agree with Mama D on the bouncer seat. We have the little lamb swing AND a seat. Our son (he is 7mo now) only liked the swing from 3mo-5mo - he now reaches, successfully, for the stars and little lambs and yanks them. He is also 22lbs (almost a giant) and the swing creaks! In addition - he laughs at me when I put him in it almost to say "HA! You think I will sit in this thing much longer?" I get enough time to pee and that is it. He is yanking and trying to climb out of the swing. However, it saved my life for those 2mo that he liked it/wasn't too big for it!
The baby seat ended up being his "bed" for the first month. We had the crib ... nope! the bassinet ... nope! the pac-n-play with the bassinet feature ... nope and nope. He was in it almost 24/7 for the first month. Again, saved our lives!
I don't know. Maybe buy one and save the receipt? You never really know what your baby will like and not like.
i.e. we did not want one of those baby seats until we were at a friend's house and we put baby in it and he literally sighed relief!!! :)
Love Robeez. Bought a bunch. Have not worn one pair yet. Forget the 0-6mo size and go for 12 or 18 mo because babies kick off socks, shoes and whatever else you put on them they love bare feet!!

Raquel said...

@MamaD- My Jillian will love the swing. And do other stuff that I want her to. Babies do that right?

@Brandy-I have one more shower left and I'm freaking out about all the stuff left. We're the first ones to have a baby so I can't score any hand me downs. You're lucky. What cloth diapers are you going to do?

@Betsy- LOVE the Craigslist and Craiglook if I really need to land a great deal on something that can be shipped. We have an heirloom dresser and too little room to have another dresser but I def agree with you about investing in items that will grow with the little nugget.

@JC- Looks like I'm going to need a bouncer. Damnit. Robeez remind me of those disposable socks that you wear in new homes (or anal relatives). Bare feet it is! Stupid baby socks.

Deals, Steals and Heels said...

we are still a year or 2 away from babies...but so far, the hubs knows i want a totally impractical, but completely adorable petunia picklebottom crazy-expensive diaper bag. GIVE ME ACCESSORIES FOR ME DAMMIT!!

Raquel said...

@Deals- Moms def get the shaft. The Cougar buys Dooney bags and then passes them down to FO then me and FO currently has the huge giraffe bag that would make an EXCELLENT and stylish diaper bag but she's an asshole and knows I want it so she's keeping it and another bag hostage. That's two in her possession when she should only have one.

I hope you get your Petunia Picklebottom. I mean, for cheese sake when we're wearing spit up and our hair hasn't been washed in 2 days I think we should at least have a cute diaper bag to make us feel like real girls.

Oph said...

Aw that's awful that she is harboring the bag from you! Totally not fair. Are you only using gdiapers for the little miss? Or do you have others as well? I want to cloth diaper when the time comes even though it is expensive to start off it seems like it pays off cause they can be used on other kiddos!
P.S. Can't wait for teen mom tomorrow! I'm sad that it is the last episode (for this season) of the little couple though

Betsy said...

P.S. Yippee for Teen Mom tomorrow :) I'm a little excited too!!!

Raquel said...

@Oph- She's an asshole. I even told her she could keep the cheetah one forever if she would just pass down the giraffe one. She's an asshole. I'm planning on only using gDiaps since they are much cheaper than other Pockets but I may look into other brands depending on how things go with cloth diapering. For us, buying new, but opened gDiapers on Craiglook saved a TON of $ so we're only in at around $130.

@Oph and Betsy-SO excited for Teen Mom tonight!

Kelli said...

We also have both a swing and a bouncer. Thr bouncer is great for the bathroom and the kitchen, plus my dog is a lousy babysitter - I would not leave her jealous self to guard the baby in the swing while I go to the bathroom.

As for expensive baby stuff, we have it all. The breast pump was the biggest hit to the wallet, especially since breastfeeding didn't work out. I love Miracle Blankets for swaddling, even if they are $30 each. I can't stop myself from buying him clothes - I've been to Janie and Jack's clearance sale 3 times this month. My name is Kelli and I have a baby clothes problem.

xoxo, C said...

Not pregnant and not trying to be BUT my brother just had a baby and that Little Lamb Swing is AWESOME. The fabric is like the 'Nap' fabric from Brookstone and basically I want one.

Love,
Girl waiting for the adult size lamb swing

 

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