How to Save Money Buying Crap for Your Expensive Baby

Obviously I am one cheap SOB. I switched to cloth diapers to save money, not the environment. (Sorry environment, your “green” products are just too damn expensive) and I have bought my kidlet TWO outfits that were not used. I will do ANYTHING to save a dime. So in order to keep my expensive baby clothed, diapered, feed and all the other damn things babies need to do, I got creative. Here’s my list of ways to save your hard earned cash. Unless “The Client List” was based on YOUR life, then you can probably just skip this post.

CRAIGSLIST- I love the Craigslist and I highly recommend it. I look for anything and everything on Craigslist. I typically search for large items, like the changing table we nabbed for $25, in our area. If you don’t know, there is also a website called Craiglook and it’s AMAZING. You can search for specific things within a certain distance or all over the country. My favorite part? The price point search. That way when I’m looking to score a Moby for cheap, I can make sure I get the very best deal. Try it, you’ll like it.

RESALE- I have also loved resale and thrift stores. It was only a matter of time before the hunt for home décor evolved into baby crap. My favorite store in the history of used baby crap stores is Once Upon A Child (and if you are somehow affiliated with OUAC, I am not opposed to compensation in the form of gift cards, just sayin’). They are the shit. They have EVERYTHING but the best part is the racks and racks of baby clothes organized by gender, size and season. Love that. And they typically only take the fancy brands like Gap, Janie and Jack, Gymboree, Children’s Place, etc so you’re baby can be stylin’ (even if it is last season, babies don’t care) and you can save a butt ton. I was just there and they had a red slash sale where any item was a $1. You can’t even get a McChicken for that. The only thing that can take the sting of brand spankin’ new hemorrhoid is getting a Gap romper for $1. They also have rewards programs like the Stamp Card, you spend $200 bones there and they’ll shave off 15% on the next visit. This summer they also featured the coupon to beat all coupons, $10 off $50 and $5 off of $25. You’re probably like “Shut up bitch, that’s nothin’” but they don’t expire. Yeah.

GOODWILL/RUMMAGE SALES- I love rummage sales too, people unload their shit for CHEAP and then you can even haggle with them to get a better price. I don’t really like to do that, but J has been known to haggle a $50 weed eater down to $30. And when that day comes that there are no more neon signs in the grass and the banquet tables have been put away, you can always hit up your local Goodwill. It’s a year round rummage sale. They have a decent selection of clothes but you have to really dig and check for stains and size mismarks so I don’t usually piss around there anymore. You can find other random crap for the baby there though, like nursery décor. A little spray paint and you’re in business. Next time you’re there just think of the magical powers of spray paint and you’ll be buyin’ shit up like it’s nobody’s business.

HAND ME DOWNS- Now I don’t know much about this since J and I are the first ones to start makin’ babies but I hear you can really bank in this department. Especially if your friends or family are through with babies and don’t like money.

BABY SHOWERS- Okay, this one is pretty obvs but whatever. I need to mention it since sometimes people think it’s rude to include where you are registered on the shower invitation. Then you end up with a whole bunch of clothes and none of this shit you really need. And to really burn your asshole, you have to piss around returning crap and getting the lowest sale price since Aunt K didn’t give you a gift receipt…and the clothes look suspiciously used. This happens.

COUPONS- I fucking love coupons. More than my husband. I am so the lady who holds you up in the line searching wildly for that 20% off one item at Babies R Us coupon she’s sure she has. Please don’t hate me, at least I don’t do it at the grocery store. There are a few ways to nab yourself some “coups”, you can sign up for shit like Babies R Us’ rewards program and they’ll send you coupons and if you spend a certain amount of money they send you like $5.00 to use with no minimum purchase. I know Gymboree has some Gymbucks thing, but I don’t buy their stuff from them, so I don’t really know. Sorry. If you’re shopping online because you couldn’t find it on Craigslist/Craiglook you should always use the Google Shopping tab and ALWAYS sort by price. Once you can make sure you haven’t had anything inserted in any of your holes (some retailers like to do that) you should do a Google search for any coupons the store might have floatin’ around. I did this shit when I was trying to save my cheap Dad on a breast pump I made him buy me to a) embarrass him for dipping out on buying the stroller instead and I saved him $20 and got free shipping. In turn, he bought the baby more crap. WIN.

SWAGBUCKS- I literally just found out about this and I'm totally convinced that it is the shit. It's a search engine that gives you points for using it instead of another search engines. Wait for it....then you can use the points toward FREE SHIT. Like $5.00 Amazon giftcards and other prizes and other giftcards. I didn't really look into the prizes because I was so impressed with the Amazon gift cards. Dude, Amazon has EVERYTHING. I mean, I love you Google but when was the last time you gave me free shit?

What ways do you save money?