Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My Very Own Pregnancy Pact

I went to high school with this girl but she and I were not in the same social group. Honestly I thought she was a little bit annoying because she farts sunshine and puppies or something and that’s just not normal. Anyway, Sunshine Ass (SA) got married like a year after graduation to this kid who thinks he’s Brad Pitt but looks more like Mickey Rourke with a stank eye. Seriously, every time he smiles one eye is open but the other is squinting like it’s sunny out. Maybe that’s from all the sunshine coming out of his wife’s ass.

She’s pregnant. Guess how far along she is? 28 weeks, 2 days, the same as me, down to the day. She probably got pregnant just to bother me and so she thinks we’re pregnancy buddies or something. She wants to know when Jordan and I are going to prenatal classes and whether or not we knew the sex of the baby or a name yet. And she keeps bothering me to post a “bump picture” on the internet so she can see. Umm, we’re not friends SA.

High school friend Stube (like stub with an e on the end) lets me bitch about her every time we talk. Like when SA and I we’re 18 weeks pregnant and she posted a pictures on FB of her belly. I wasn’t even starting to show and here’s Sunshine Ass looking like she’s 7 months pregnant. Listen SA, this is your first baby and you baby is still the size of a mango or some crap, so I know you’re just overeating and trying to blame it on the baby.

3 comments:

hellowifey said...

lol! Hilarious!

Loving your blog!

Alison said...

Lol. I know a girl from high school that was like 9 weeks pregnant when she went to Hawaii on vacation - she just wanted to post a picture of herself and her fake boobies (she had them done twice) on the internet. So AT NINE WEEKS she posts a picture of her "bump" (she was sticking it out so far she looked like she was like 20 weeks with twins) with some insanely annoying caption. I got so tired of her antics that I unfriended her. Couldn't take it anymore. You're better than me for still having her in your "newsfeed" haha

Raquel said...

She sounds like a skank. I am so not better than you, I only keep her on my friends list so I can see photos of her stank eyed baby when he's born.

 

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