Thank You

I don’t know about you but I am one crafty bitch. And I will be damned if Jillian isn’t a crafty bitch too. I saw a handprint animal on the internet once and I knew I could force Jillian to make one too. Some craft paint and a pack of brushes and we were in business. The first handprint craft we made was a garden.

As you can see, it’s sweet. If you are not one of those people who get art, those are my interpretation of poppies. They look good up close and less like blobs. Drunk with awesomeness, we made a handprint garden on a plate for my Mom’s plate wall. If you don’t have a plate wall, you need to get one. Now.

Since Jillian’s hand painted and hand printed sign is in her bedroom, only she can really enjoy and admire it so we made one for the living room. I don’t know why but I like clown fish and I would so have one if I could remember to take care of a saltwater tank but I can’t remember to shave my legs, so no clown fish for me. Sort of…. we tried to do a handprint clown fish (no upkeep required) but Jillian kept making a fist before I could get her little baby hand on the frame and we lost the other white stripe. You get the idea though.


I’ve done a handprint flamingo and another fish for my Aunt with her two kid’s handprints and I did a purple fish with BFF Stube’s daughter. The fish are pretty popular and I like to paint the backgrounds. I mean, who the frick is going to see this lovingly made keepsake and be like “Ooooh, I love it but I just fucking hate fish. Couldn’t you have done a emu?” No one. I plan on doing handprint animals and what have you for New Baby and continue to do them with Jillian as she get bigger (and more cooperative). So when it came time to dream up the Thank You for Jillian’s first birthday it was clear we were going the handprint route.

I thought a chicken would be super cute but there were no chickens at her party and I didn’t want people to get them in the mail and think I’m fucking retarded since there weren’t chickens there, so why would I do a chicken. Horse it is. I did the plain brown handprint with Jillian one night and then sent her to bed so I could finish it off with a bridal and a mane and tail. You didn’t think that she did that, did you? Good, her mad craft skills are still developing. Anyway, I sent the print off to Valerie from Inkblot Graphic Design Studio to work her magic yet again. Here’s the finished product.

EFFING AWESOME, right??? Again, I feel like I was sort of stealing from Valerie since she only charged me $8.00 on this one. I just told her that I wanted the same red background and other than that to just go for it. LOVE her. If you need something designed, ask Valerie. She’ll whip something up for you in no time. I think I should mention that I’m getting no swag from pimping out Valerie, she just did a fanfuckingtastic job and if you’re like me when someone convo’s you back telling you they want $50.00 to bring to life WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE THOUGHT OF you look for someone a little less mentally imbalanced. Valerie? She’s balanced.

You’ve got your coat on to go get craft paint and a baby right now I bet. And plates for a plate wall.