I thought about it over the weekend, you know trying to make Mommy friends so Jillian can interact and socialize with other kids so she isn’t one of those kids that cannot leave my side and won’t play with other kids on the playground or something and I came up with a solution. Give birth to the friend. Duh, right?
It’s a little extreme, I admit.
After Jillian was born and my lady flower was in pieces more babies were a no go. Not going to happen. Lady flower was meant to be an entrance, not an exit. Jordo brought up babies A LOT. All this bull about I won’t “give him a son” and how he and his new wife would probably have kids. Maybe 3. He’s joked about me not trying while he’s simultaneously not not trying. What the eff? Way to be on the same page.
He’s always been pro baby #2 since he comes from an obviously very healthy and not at all dysfunctional large family whereas I’m the perfect only child. I had a great childhood, my Mom and I did a lot of shit together. Like apple picking and she used to take me and BFF Stube to Noah’s Ark every summer and buy me a prom dress that was hecka expensive and buy me whatever I wanted and that sounds pretty fucking awesome to me. But Jordan is all “Let’s have another baby so Jillian and New Baby can be really weird and creepy close and then we can neglect them, like my childhood”. No.
When I thought about having another kid I kept thinking that New Baby is going to be crying and I have to nurse or change his/her diaper and Jillian is crying and wondering why I don’t love her and then pokes New Baby in the eye out of jealousy. Then when she wants a car I have to tell her that she only gets x amount because she we can’t buy both kids cars and then she will be full of teenage angst and try to sneak out of her bedroom window so she can smoke parsley out of printer paper with her friend with the lip piercing and the bad reputation.
It’s a little extreme, I admit.
After Jillian was born and my lady flower was in pieces more babies were a no go. Not going to happen. Lady flower was meant to be an entrance, not an exit. Jordo brought up babies A LOT. All this bull about I won’t “give him a son” and how he and his new wife would probably have kids. Maybe 3. He’s joked about me not trying while he’s simultaneously not not trying. What the eff? Way to be on the same page.
He’s always been pro baby #2 since he comes from an obviously very healthy and not at all dysfunctional large family whereas I’m the perfect only child. I had a great childhood, my Mom and I did a lot of shit together. Like apple picking and she used to take me and BFF Stube to Noah’s Ark every summer and buy me a prom dress that was hecka expensive and buy me whatever I wanted and that sounds pretty fucking awesome to me. But Jordan is all “Let’s have another baby so Jillian and New Baby can be really weird and creepy close and then we can neglect them, like my childhood”. No.
When I thought about having another kid I kept thinking that New Baby is going to be crying and I have to nurse or change his/her diaper and Jillian is crying and wondering why I don’t love her and then pokes New Baby in the eye out of jealousy. Then when she wants a car I have to tell her that she only gets x amount because she we can’t buy both kids cars and then she will be full of teenage angst and try to sneak out of her bedroom window so she can smoke parsley out of printer paper with her friend with the lip piercing and the bad reputation.
At the same time, I don’t want her to be like I remembered I was, hanging onto my Dad’s leg with the adults while the other kids played around having fun, maybe playing with fire, I don’t really know since I couldn’t leave my Dad. I’m also a little selfish** and I only have one friend. Not exactly the future I’m planning for my future Prom Queen either. If you're like me you're thinking Fuuuuuck, what to do, right?
The day after her birthday my thoughts changed drastically and then the list of Pros was WAY BIGGER than the list of cons. When you think about it realistically Jillian will probably be dangerously close to turning two when New Baby would be born and then she'll be a little more reasonable and probably helpful. And you know what, she can suck it because she's going to have a friend and that's that. She can thank me later, after she fetches me a baby wipe so I can change the New Baby. Or more likely after she has someone to confess that she let the popular boy from school feel her up and they can giggle about how they both agree never to tell me. Oh, didn't I mention that I'm planning on New Baby being a girl? I am, maybe I'll name her Quinn. It's all up to me you know.
So we’re back to Jordan feeling “used” since sex is no longer for recreation. He's like a needy, emotional little girl sometimes. Get over it Nancy, I only need you for your man juice.
Lay it on me, all your advice about having two or staying a threesome. Any advice for two chil’run sharing a bedroom?
** I’m not selfish with Jillian obviously, in fact, right now I’m wearing a bra that my nipples often escape out of because I would rather spend $$$ on her than get myself a new boulder holder.
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3 comments:
I am so glad you're blogging again. I was happy to see you in my google reader.
You can screw up your kids no matter if you have one or an even dozen. Or you could raise a whole choir of angelic beings. I guess how they turn out is just a matter of how you and Jordan raise them.
I grew up in a family of nine. I get along great with my siblings most of the time, other times I can't stand them. Sibling relationships are weird.
I've got two teenage boys who just find each other annoying now but were best friends five years ago. Now we're planning on adding one more who will most likely be basically an only child.
Maybe if you just keep the kids away from the in-laws, they should turn out fine.
Pregnant with #2 (HDC will be 26 months when he is born) so I will let you know! Both my husband and I had a sibling and can't imagine anything different for HDC though ... the thought did cross our minds to stop at one.
Were most likely having just one.
The cost is a major factor, we want to show our daughter the world and be able to afford nice things, two would seriously limit that. Husband and his sister dont speak at all, she has never met her niece. I know a few people who dont like there siblings. So there is no gaurantee they will be friends. The best advice I recently was given about more babies was this: wait until the first is completely potty trained, even better wait until they can also do small chores and make themselves simple meals (pour a bowl of cereal, pbj) this was from a woman with 3 under 3.5.
She thought the age between the first and third was perfect, as a 3.5 year old is helpful and wants to be a big girl and can entertain herself.
In the end do whats right for you and your family and sanity.
Also if Jillian was a really easy baby be warned by my mother AND Mil's words " the first one was so easy we thought we'd have two, instead the second was a handful"
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